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[02 Feb 2010|07:01am] |
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Yet another rough day. Yet another peaceful mind. 
Goodnight my darling. I'll be seeing you. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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[01 Feb 2010|01:28am] |
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I sleep with the beautiful orange lights on twinkling the dull wall.
I sleep i see you. I sleep. I sleep. I sleep. I sleep in peace. 
Goodnight my darling. I'll be seeing you. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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[31 Jan 2010|08:24am] |
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No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by work.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice. 
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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[02 Jan 2010|12:07pm] |
“The weight of the world
Is love
Under the burden
Of solitude
Under the burden
Of dissatisfaction The weight
The weight we carry
Is love. Who can deny?
In dreams
It touches
The body,
In thought
Constructs
A miracle,
Its imagination
Anguishes
Till born
In human
Looks out of the heart
Burning with purity —
For the burden of life
Is love. ”
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[11 Dec 2009|03:06am] |
& Maybe.
& maybe we'll always fight,
& maybe I'll always win,
but according to you I'm always wrong.
& maybe we'll give up,
on this little thing.
& maybe the day will come
where we will finally finish.
but maybe,
you'll always give me make up kisses,
and you'll beg for my forgiveness.
but sometimes i'll be stubborn,
and pretend to not listen.
& maybe you'll try your hardest,
and i'll give it my best shot,
and perhaps we'll still lose it,
no matter what.
& maybe we'll end up together,
a bickering old pair.
constantly fighting, and then making up.
& maybe when I look at my life,
and at my future
you will always be there.
no matter what.
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[04 Dec 2009|07:19am] |
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SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME WANNA SLEEP ALL DAY LONG Does this ring a bell to you? 
I post it not to show off to the facebookers. I post it because i want you to respond to it.
U would rather reply to someone else's post. But not mine. Why not mine?
R u embarassed of it? R u embarassed of me? U dissapoint me, always do.
Its not wrong to ignore me. And its not wrong for me to be disappointed too.
Sometimes i dont know what else to do. Sometimes im tired of you.
Im tired of staying strong just so i can pretend that i am happy with you. Yet, i still love you very much and all i wanna do is sleep all day long right now.
So i dont feel this miserable. So i dont feel rejected. So i dont feel lonely.
I say this too often but i dont think i can ever get enough of it... I miss you.
:( Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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[19 Nov 2009|04:48pm] |
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TQ. THNX. THANKS. TENTIU. THNK U. THANK YOU. Whats so hard to say? Why so hard to say? Tq, tqvm, thnx, what other abbreviations can we give to the most meaningful & easiest form of appreciation. For me, if i ask for something, regardless of the value of it, tentiu is my favourite response to show my gratitude, my appreciation towards others that helped. It might not mean so much or even enough, but thats enough to express gratitude, and thankful. How would u feel if you have helped, regardless of the amount of values & sacrifices uve made to help them, but in the end, they fail to appreciate you, or even show gratitude for you. How would you feel? Seriously, i feel betrayed. Like they come to you for help, and when they were helped by you, they are filled with overjoy and satisfaction, that they forgot to show gratitude, to be nice, to at least show to us that what we've done is a good thing and that they appreciate it even if they cant repay it. In other words, i feel used. Yes! So screw you! Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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[17 Nov 2009|01:12am] |
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I Love You But This Is As Far As I Can Go. 
I am speechless. I am frustrated.
I wish im over it. I wish im okay.
I love. But this is as far as i can go... Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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[13 Nov 2009|07:59pm] |
Last post was 12 weeks ago. Here goes today's. Shall this one be an exciting post after 3 months.
YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING SIALAN!
To be frank, though im not Frank, thankgod! Im not a sexist. But u guys are.
You guys are all fucks. You guys are all jerks. You guys are all assholes and shitholes.
We girls love you, could love you till death, would love u in any way. But all you guys could love is FUCK.
You guys are full of ego. You guys take love as a lame thing. Love means nothing. Love has no meaning.
You guys say we are too emotional. Well, why shouldnt we? To us, you guys emotionally fucked us up!
So yeah, we are emotionally fucked, thanks to you guys.
You guys say we are stupid. You guys say we have no brains but hearts.
Tell me, what do you guys have? No brains. No hearts. Nothing but a piece of meat.
We hope that you guys shall die in the most disgusting way possible.
Die with your tasteless and hard piece of meat.
And you shall rot in your graves and your skeleton shall burn in hell.
I am a girl, and I fucking hate you guys!
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[21 Aug 2009|11:31am] |
 Right sayang?
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[03 Aug 2009|05:11pm] |
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[02 Aug 2009|02:09am] |
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How I wish he would feel this way about me.
And my life would be filled with joy and happiness.
Enough said. |
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[15 Jul 2009|05:33am] |
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Once in a while, there is a beautiful new song to discover. Today is once.
Through sickness and hell, i will love you.
Comme des enfants by Coeur de Pirate
So I won't cry anymore,
And I won't talk anymore,
I will just hide over there,
And watch you dance and smile,
and I'll listen to you sing,
and then laughing.
So let me become,
the shadow of your hand,
the shadow of your voice,
the shadow of your perfection,
But don't leave me,
Dont leave me.
Cause someday,
we will have our cycling moments.
Because I love you.
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[05 Jul 2009|05:03am] |
And with this, I suffocate.
Memang dia orang yang aku sayang
Memang dia si comel yang sempurna
Memang sempurna pada mula nya
Sentiasa bahagia pabila di sisi nya
Tiada apa yang buruk dari nya
Tapi, kini sudah berubah
Yang indah jadi derita
Aku resah gelisah
Dan yang tinggal hanyalah sakit nya dan perit nya
Kini aku mula sedari apa yg terjadi
Aku di bebani bayang mu
Aku bagaikan tidak mahu teruskan percintaan ini dengan mu
Kerana,
Aku lemas dalam dakapan mu
Tidak aku sangka kau begitu
Inikah lumrah orang bercinta
Inikah ertinya bercinta
Tiada ruang nafasnya
Tidak aku perlu kau begitu
Berikanlah aku ruang agar aku selesa
Bukan aku benci pada mu
Bukan aku benci akan watak mu
Bukan aku benci terhadap cemburu mu,
Bukan aku benci kau ekori ku
Percayalah kataku, aku rimas, aku lemas
Katakanlah apa yang harus aku lakukan
Agar kau mengerti yang aku rimas lemas rimas lemas lemas lemas LEMAS!!
Tapi aku tetap sayang. Aku tetap suka. Aku tetap cinta.
Aku hanya lemas. Jadi lepaskan lah aku untuk seketika.
Adopted from aku lemas ruffedge.
.
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[19 Jun 2009|12:20pm] |
Kenapa perlu lelaki berlembut dengan perempuan?
Kenapa perlu lelaki memahami hati hati emo perempuan?
Kenapa perlu lelaki melayani kerenah bukan bukan perempuan?
Sedangkan i tertanya tanya yang opposite.
Kenapa lelaki susah nak faham isi hati perempuan?
Kenapa lelaki suka cakap kasar dan menengking dengan perempuan?
Kenapa lelaki asik tuduh perlakuan dan kerenah yang bukan bukan perempuan?
Betul ke i ni tak berhati perut.
Betul ke i ni sial.
Betul ke i ni tak guna.
I menangis mendengarkan kata kata mcm tu daripada lelaki yg i sayangi.
Hati i panas, pedih dan sebak.
Hati i macam di cincang you.
I tak bole bernafas. Nafas sesak menahani sakit di dada. Sakit di hati.
I sayang dia. And I rindu si dia.
Dah berhari hari i kerja keras tak tidur malam untuk siapkan kerja.
I tak sempat layani dia pon sbb i terlampau sibuk dengan kerja.
I rindu dia sangat sangat.
And kadang kadang, i rasa i patut dirindui jugak.
Kadang kadang, i patut di cari cari.
Kadang kadang, i patut di sayangi.
Dan diberitahu yang i di sayangi.
Kadang kadang, itu je seorang perempuan inginkan.
Kadang kadang, perempuan inginkan lelaki yang berlemah lembut terhadap dia.
Kadang kadang, perempuan inginkan lelaki yang memahami perasaan di dalam hati perempuan.
Bukan sesuatu yang senang. Tetapi amat dihargai dan bermakna kalau lelaki boleh memahami
hati dan perasaan seorang perempuan.
Kadang kadang, perempuan inginkan lelaki yang sanggup melayani kerenah perempuan yang
tah pape itu.
Sebab apa yang perempuan inginkan, bukan senang untuk lelaki mencapai kan. Hanya lelaki
yang menyayangi, lelaki yang sanggup melakukan apa apa untuk perempuan, yang boleh
berjaya menangani hati seorang perempuan.
Atau sekurang kurangnya, hati i.
I bukan lah perempuan murahan yang bersepah sepah tepi jalan menjual diri.
I bukan lah perempuan yang senang untuk di tawan hati.
Namun sukar untuk membuat i bahagia. Namun sukar untuk melayani kerenah i.
Tapi di situlah letak nya maruah ku.
Thats how valuable my pride and dignity is.
U sepatutnya kesat air mata i. U sepatutnya call i dan bagitau yang u sayang i dan u minta
maaf sbb terkasar dengan i. Dan i akan maafkan u. Sbb i rindu u sangat.
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[18 Jun 2009|05:56pm] |
How God made it look so easy.
I was about to get changed to go shopping at KB mall. but suddenly, the electrical activity in my brain went differently
and i chose a different path. what do you say about this sudden change of mind. within nanoseconds, something
flickered the electrical activity in your brain to a whole different path. leading to a whole different impact in the world.
ironic. it is. amazing. God's creations.
I miss my pasum days. I really do.
The enthusiasm i get everyday to attend class. The exhilarating fun i got everyday with my friends by just attending
lectures. Not that i am geeky that i got so excited about classes. but its just fun over there. With tonnes of cute guys
around that i can peep. with the different and cute names i have for them. And being around majority of guys in the
physical stream, i got motivated. Its cute how my brain functions that way. Motivated to study and do the best with the
presence of cute guys.
2 days ago. an old friend messaged me. Mark missed malaysia and suggested that we have a night out together
and show them how to party malaysia style. Thats pretty cute. And i think, if my friend agrees, we shalll party a night
out.
1 day ago. another old friend messaged me. Specky was just saying hello to me. I miss him considering how big
my crush to him was few years back. If he didnt go off to Germany, i would probably... i dont know. Prolly have not
met Kojek. I love kojek, and i swear on my life, i do. But sometimes, the way he treats me, i feel like i deserve better.
Its quite selfish of me to be saying this because i love him unconditionally. But looking at how things are in his
perspective, how i let him be selfish himself, and how he treats me and the way he loves me. Its like i deserve
something more. Something bigger. Something extra amazing. Because i know i am one amazing girl. And
considering how much effort i put in this relationship. It seems like i was the only one making every effort to make
it work for him. But then, what about me? What about what i want? What i deserve.
I dont know. I've got goosebumps just thinking and saying all this. Its a whole new complicated feelings that i have.
I miss my pasum days. I miss specky. I miss my family. And for once, today, i dont miss him.
I need this more. Maybe.
Until i feel deserved.
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[12 Jun 2009|01:04pm] |
I was childish and wrong.
With you i am happy.
With you i can live and sleep in peace.
Even though it sucks to be far away.
With you i am complete.
Thank you for loving me.
And i am sorry for whatever stupid things i did or said.
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[12 Jun 2009|02:45am] |
I need a total body make over.
Im 144cm in height. That is 4 ft. 9. Thats clearly hobbitic, aint it? Some people call it cute. But i say its like a hobbit.
If i could at least be 3 inches taller, where i can be in the world of 5 ft, id be much much grateful. Not that i am not
now. But i know i can be taller. I used to be down when people call me shorty but i got used to it. It doesnt bother
me that much. But mabe it does. Cause i feel like my body is screaming to grow taller.
I googled and yes i do found some ways to get taller. which includes in correcting spinal postures, decompressing
spines that could lead to getting 3 inches taller. And they have this program called growtaller4idiots in the market
that was reviewed to be good. and totally expensive. it contains food regimes, stretch workouts. But i thought its a
total crap. Maybe im crapping tonight. Yes i am!
I am kinda addicted to getting a body like sophia bush or hilary duff. So even if i workout and watch my diet, i might
have that. But they're both taller. So i am not gonna or ever will have that.
Even the olsens are 5ft. Gaaaahhh.
this is some random stupid post.
thank you for whatever.
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[10 Jun 2009|10:06pm] |
Paris. France. London. NYC. KL. Boring.
Marijuana. Cocaine. Heroin. Boring.
Galliano. Donatella. Dolce & Gabbana. Boring.
One Tree Hill. Gossip Girl. 90210. Boring.
BORING.
I was feeling sad and i cant help looking back. i run run run away and lost my mind.
i have no sense of time. i was all alone. i was not so strong without these open arms.
so hold on tight because i would like for you to stay and be my prize.
for one single moment, i am being that which contains the universe but is not the universe.
for one single moment, i am formless and void. without attributes. without mind. without
thought. without identity. without hope of rescue or relief.
for one single outbreath, i become the one. the absolute. no matter what i see and hear,
touch, feel and think, i know i will be utterly and endlessly alone. voidness in the void.
emptiness in emptiness. flowing stillness endless light and screaming silence. i am just
a figment of my own imagination.
i am at the crossroads between space time energy and matter dark and light. i am on the
crucifix of self-extinction.
i brace myself for the event by relaxing and going with the flow. i remember that no matter
how long it may seem, i am in the waking state for only one single moment.
in that moment, i took the full reality of the waking state upon myself. i was tagged as one.
in a matter of blinks, i am starting to remember who i am. its coming back to me now.
my hands were just projections of my own mind.
my mind is merely a projection of my own ego.
my ego is mindless.
my mindlessness is the momentary extinction of ego.
but then,
syllogism snaps.
attention all jellyfish.
get ready, cause here it comes.
THIS IS! the waking state.
its all over now. i breathe normally and relax.
i have now returned to my own home.
welcome back to reality.
lets complete these 600 annoyingly-eye-aching x-rays.
then i can go back and enjoy the to-die-for warm chocolate cake with chocolate fudge
filling topped with vanilla ice cream under a crunchy chocolate shell. you know what you are.
Here i come lovely!
p.s: i am craving for chocolate molten cake from chillis. anyone? a treat for me? no? fuck u. fugly. BI.
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